Resources for Dating, Courting, Engagement, and Marriage

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January 17, 2013 by Dwight Bernier

I am a pastor at a church where the average age of the people hovers somewhere around 21. We are young, which is exciting, as it brings energy, youthfulness, and often great optimism and faith into what we do.

The reality of being a part of a young church is that many conversations I have are around relationships. People are starting to meet other people who they think they might want to spend the rest of their lives with. This too is exciting, but many who think they’ve met the right one (which maybe they have) bring into the search a certain naïveté in the process. Until we know the right questions to ask, we don’t know the right questions to ask. Until we know what the process is supposed to be like, we don’t know how the process is supposed to be. And until we know what marriage is supposed to be about, we don’t know what marriage is supposed to be about.

My limited experience has shown me that people want help in discerning whether or not the person they are interested in is going to be “good” for them, and vice versa. I wanted to throw some resources out here for people to be able to use in their time of dating, courting, engagement (which should include pre-marital counseling) and marriage.

Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage

Date Your Wife (Justin Buzzard)

Real Marriage (Mark & Grace Driscoll) – Especially helpful resource at the end of the book entitled “Reverse Engineering Your Life”

What Did You Expect (Paul David Tripp)

When Sinners Say I Do (Dave Harvey) – Book I use primarily for pre-marital counseling

Meaning of Marriage (Tim & Kathy Keller)

Sacred Marriage (Gary Thomas)

Love That Lasts (Gary & Betsy Ricucci)

This Momentary Marriage (John Piper)

No Ordinary Marriage (Tim Savage)

What resources have you found beneficial?

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