24 Ways to be a Servant Leader at Home

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June 25, 2012 by Dwight Bernier

Last week, my wife and I had the privilege of getting to be with more than 300 couples who are church planting with Acts 29. The annual retreat was held in Newport Beach, California, and was absolutely amazing. It was a time of growth, challenge, refreshment, rest and being with Jesus and Jess. 

During the time, John Bryson gave a talk to the men about what it looks like to be servant leaders at home. He handed out a list of ways before he gave the talk. It is phenomenal. This is not a to-do list, but a list to keep coming back to, to be reminded of what the gospel calls us to work out as husbands and dads. For current husbands and fathers, allow the Spirit to press in areas that He is calling you to grow. For future husbands and fathers, see areas that you can develop rhythms now in order to best prepare for the future.

Servant Leadership = “Taking the initiative for the benefit of others”

  1. A servant-leader accepts the responsibility to spiritually lead his family.
  2. A servant-leader includes his wife in envisioning the future.
  3. A servant-leader is willing to say I’m sorry and forgive me to his family.
  4. A servant-leader discusses his household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
  5. A servant-leader seeks the consultation of his wife on all major financial decisions.
  6. A servant-leader follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
  7. A servant-leader anticipates the different seasons his marriage will pass through.
  8. A servant-leader anticipates the different stages of life his children will pass through.
  9. A servant-leader frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
  10. A servant-leader provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
  11. A servant-leader deals with distractions so he can talk with his wife and family.
  12. A servant-leader prays with his wife on a regular basis.
  13. A servant-leader initiates meaningful family traditions.
  14. A servant-leader plans fun outings for the family on a regular basis.
  15. A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instructions about life, which will build into them confidence.
  16. A servant-leader manages the schedule of the home and anticipates any pressure points.
  17. A servant-leader keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
  18. A servant-leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged a well-conceived plan for their children in case of death.
  19. A servant-leader lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
  20. A servant-leader honors his wife physically.
  21. A servant-leader encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
  22. A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife Biblically sound family values.
  23. A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband and father.
  24. A servant-leader initiates his kids, creates ceremonies and marks moments.

May we aim to grow into these as men who lead our families toward Jesus.


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